Were I well read, could I show you words you knew to communicate this sick feeling. Hands, sap retreat from a leafs autumn. Face, frozen in grief. Solar plexus, unsettled, cover with concrete. How stiffly I comunicate now. Let no one in to see the pain. Pass no burden, Cursed to roam. A freak to company.
Reason for writing:
I had broken up with a girl friend. I go through long periods of being alone, with no real close intimatcy.
When I find some one I can really be close with, it really opens my true loving self. I am much more light
and open and am able to express Love to people because I'm not carrying around all the pain of aloneness which
becomes so heavy when I spend too much time alone. I love deep intimacy and when I'm with out it. I can't open up
to people, I feel it would be just too much pain for them to handle. And because I open up deep I'm very selective
who I open up to. But if I'm in a deep relationship, I'm able to share the good feelings I'm receivng and giving in
my relationship. Probably common knowledge to most people. But to me relationships that I value are rarely found.
So when they are lost, it's a horrible feeling to return to my lonely hell.
heavy and painful, so I hide my feeling (at least try to but the greif is written all over my face.
Birth sign: Not entered
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