The Fear I walked in the darkness last night in my dreams, And everything I fear was of substance it seems. Every demon I ever fought and thought banished, returned, And he was there with them, and god did that hurt! I woke with the thought "I WILL NEVER SLEEP AGAIN!" Add one more angry face to the many in my head. Add one more betrayal, one more fools fate! Add on more bastard to the list of those I hate. As I sat trembling, waiting for reality to congeal, For light to penetrate where in I was sealed, The one I had added, felt present in the room, And with love and compassion, removed the Devil's shoes. There were no words between us, just a look and a touch And it welled up in my heart that I loved him so much! That the terror in my soul was of memories past, Of the fear of watching love turn so ugly, so fast. The emptiness and hopelessness belonged to the child whose brothers turned play into something defiled. The Fear all-encompassing was hers as well, Having no where to turn, no-one to tell. And I understood, as his presence left the room that my loving him made it all too close to true. That watching him change in the blink of an eye, was too frightening to children betrayal defiled. So I held the child with the fear in her eyes, And I held the child who had to learn how to lie, And I held the child who bled all alone, And I held the child hate had turned all to stone. I loved them, and they told me their tales, I loved them and I let them rail! I loved them and I let them scream! I loved them, and they loved me. I accepted them, and we went to sleep, Peaceful, quiet, restful sleep
Reason for writing:
This poem marks a huge step in my recover from a childhood of molestation. I was inspired to submit both in celebration of the peace it embodies and in hope that I might share this feeling with others.
Birth sign: Not entered
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