I feel down right now..for sure... My mind is sick.. and there's no cure... There is no pills.. to end this hell... no quick way of getting well... I seen a Doctor..and all he said... was that only I .. could clear my head... and until I find a way.. that in this state of mind.. I'd stay... Well, I knelt down.. to God.. I prayed... asked him to clean.. this mess I made... but I guess he never .. heard at all... cause I heard no answer...to my call... So, I took it.. on my own... I went away.. to be alone... I tried to leave it.. all behind... but I found it there.. still on my mind... Things look bad.. the way I feel... and nothing seems.. to be for real... only hell.. I feel inside... hell so real.. and it won't die... So then I tried..another thing... I took some Drugs.. It made me sing... It took away.. the feelings..sad... and made my life.. look not so bad... I felt I had.. my head on straight... and that nothing bad.. would be my fate... I felt real good.. and thats for sure... my mind felt better.. I had found a cure... But then I felt.. a feeling new... a feeling.. I've never.. before been through... It didn't hurt.. cause I felt numb... a weakness seemed.. to go..and come... and then the world.. turned dark and black... and I didn't know.. where I was at... I felt me lifting.. toward the sky... and my friends were waving.. me goodbye... I wondered where.. they all had gone... but then I found out.. I was wrong... for I found me at.. a pearly gate... and I heard a voice say.. "You must wait... There is another.. place for you... that you have earned.. your whole life through.. and thats where you shall go..and stay.. forever and.. a thousand days"... I felt a fear.. flare up in me... there was no way...I could get free... I screamed.."Oh no! I must not die!"... "I had no chance.. to live my life!""... "This is not how...I planned to fix my mind!" "Please God, give me a little more time!"... And then I heard a voice.. that said... "Okay, I'll raide you from the dead." "Go back and straighten.. up your mind."... "It can be done..it just takes time."... "Don't waste your life..on bad pot trips... or pills that leave.. your stomach sick."... "Build your dreams.. on faith I give."... "You'll find a better life you'll live."... and then I felt .. a warmness near... and voices of my friends.. so dear... I felt the beating.. of my heart... and my eyes opened.. to no more dark... I looked around.. and then I smiles... I knew God let me.. live a while... but first he had to.. let me die... to show me all.. the reasons why... I closed my eyes.. and said a prayer... Dear God, I know.. that you are there... and thank you for.. this extra time... to help me straighten.. up my mind... cause with your gentle.. leading hand... through you.. I'll find a way..I can... I know..no one..would quit beleive... the experience..I just received... only you and I.. will understand... just how lucky.. I really am... Well, I feel down...again today... and my mind is tired.. but thats okay... I know the worst.. has already past... and my life is getting easier at last. Everything is possible... if it is in Christ .
Reason for writing:
How close we can sometimes be to death
before our eyes are opened to life.
Birth sign: Not entered
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