What does this life mean to my soul? What does my heart mean to the hateful people? Do I die? Do I never appear again? The raindrops sing their sweet agony to me They caress my sunken cheeks The touch is so cold, gentle Chills are sent throughout my skin Goosebumps rise with my fading heartbeat My eyes flicker in the candlelight that surrounds me The light touches my soul The shine from the sweet dagger glimmers Poison in the vile ready to be drunk Dying can be such lovely sorrow I weep with the butterflies that perch on my finger Their tears drip softly into my open mouth - which is around the silver gun I will my self too. I urge my being on. Insanity has risen in my ugly head Never to be calmed by the violent ocean winds I plunge into darkness The only thing I fear the most I see the roses release droplets of red blood from the glistening petals Blood smears my pale face Color is the last thing I need I pull the trigger But I do not die I can only see his beautiful face behind my squinting eyelids I cannot leave him now No! Not after what we had What we shared together Love is too strong I can no longer hold on I’m drifting into oblivion My thoughts, my deathly thoughts, begin to fade They are withering away with the dead roses The cemetery belongs to me now I belong to it. The nails shut my wooden cave I’m pierced by its sting Pain no longer comes easily to me I am the pain I am the tears I am the dead spirit. . . Executed by the bullets in my mind This is no laughing matter Why won’t you cry? Bring me the flowers, please. I’m so lonely God, I’m so scared The only friends of mine are the lurking maggots The butterflies - my beautiful butterflies - can no longer reach me Nausea sets in I need to vomit I don’t like the maggots in my throat They’ve never tasted like chicken They crawl over my body They slither around within I can feel them eating my shriveled up heart I just can’t feel the pain Why can’t I feel this goddamned pain? I want to feel it Please, I beseech you - let me feel it! This agony tears me up This bitterness shreds me with its sharpened claws Yet, nothing do I feel You fucking thing! Oh you damned ghostly body! Why must you treat me so? Let me feel my hurt Let me cry my tears They have not graced me with their presence, for too long What the hell is wrong with my dead soul? Where is this “almighty” God? Where is he now? I see the devil more I burn in the wretched fires of Hell What have I done to deserve such torture? Such bloody torment? Let the dirt wash over me Sprinkle it over my head I want it in my eyes I want to be blinded from this shitty life And now I have snuffed out the last breath The last one from me Do not remember what we had We must forget But so hard is it to do Do not worry Do not fret We’ll be together soon I will put in a good word with Lucifer I’m sure you’ll be welcomed.
Reason for writing:
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