In my mind these thoughts of reality permeate my insanity
The gentle caress of its tender weeping affects my ears
The deepness of itself calls to the Fearful me
The anger it knows at times has blended into the calmness of my agitated heart
It's sorrowful lapping against my feet
It cannot surrender to me nor to god
-The one who made it so changeable, so harmful in its' ways
It's hostile waves put on the facade of kindness
Calling to me
Begging for me to join in its beautiful waters
To jump and swim and dive away
Down into the depths of Despair
The lurking urchins are waiting for me there
To bite me to Death and keep me in my shallow, watery grave
To never know love as I truly should
They keep me away
Hidden amongst the maggots
With seaweed as my chains
I can't drown as they want me to
I hold my breath
My lungs bursting for air
The saltiness slowly seeps in between my ever-so-slightly parted lips
I will it to come
I want it to
The candle has been long ago snuffed out
The wax has scorched my face
The fire died within my soul
Only my heart aches for the apssion it yearns to show
But it cannot do it
My mind won't allow it to
The bitterness has reached the brain
My thoughts are no longer controlled by me
But by the demons that come from deep down within me
They taunt me unmercifully
Chanting in my head
I cry for you but you are oh so far away
I need you here
I want you here
to be with me for a while
Only now I understand the veracity of your heart
The words that spill forth from your beautiful lips
Can't you help me to survive?
Help me, quick!
To revive my dying spirit
To replcae my withering soul
I need the Butterflies to perch upon my salty tears
They are dying fast
But they will remain there
The stains that they bring
The dehumanizing effects they have upon me
The sharks have joined now in the Feast of Me
They shred me to pieces
I scream with agony
Watery bubbles are all that you hear
And with all the attempts
You still can't save me
So, please, stop trying
My peace has rested on top of me.
April 10, 1997
Reason for writing:
None given
Birth sign: Not entered
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