I never thought I could love you. When my friends spoke of it, I said no way. You were too immature, I claimed. But then something changed. You changed. I changed. Our feelings changed. Over the months when I was hurt, you were there to comfort me. You cared, you listened, you proved your maturity. Little did I know, you were in love. Not with your girlfriend, but with me. I realize now that I loved you, too. You were perfect. It wasn't until you confided in a mutual friend that you cared, that I realized I cared too. With all my heart. The night we got together, you were so nervous. You asked it you could talk to me. I said sure, I knew what was coming. You confessed you had liked me for a few months. I told you that I liked you too. You asked me to be yours, I happily accepted. There was nothing I wanted more. The next weekend, we got so close. Our first kiss, so sweet, so gentle, so unique, so magical. Magical because we loved each other more than anything. Many kisses followed, the passion growing as our love grew. The night you confessed you loved me, I knew I loved you too. So I told you. I was so close to you. You had come so far from that immature little boy. You grew into the guy I loved. I would've done anything for you. I still would. But then things grew rocky, our love not so stable. We had problems we could've fixed, but you didn't want to try. So you ended it. Leaving me alone in the cold world, the one you had been so dedicated to. What was I supposed to dedicate myself to then? I had nothing, you had been my world. You said you wanted to stay friends, but now you don't even speak to me. And missing you is just too much to bear. Please understand, that is why I must go. Because I don't want a life without you. I lie here in bed, writing a letter to you and one to my parents. To my parents: I love you guys, please understand this isn't your fault. I just have nothing more to be happy about. My life is over. Please never forget me, but move on with your lives. I'm finally happy again. I love you guys. Love, me. To you: I loved you so much, I couldn't live without you. I was miserable without you. The happiest time of my life was with you. Now that that time is gone, I have no reason to stick around. Please forgive me, but I had to do it. I still loved you and living without you was hell. I'd rather die than live in hell. I'm sorry we couldn't work out our differences. I love you. Love Forever & Always, me. I put the letters in an envelope on my nightstand. Strangely enough, I'm not scared. Just nervous about the pain. Yet it will be so small compared to the pain you've caused me, when you stole my heart and wouldn't return it. Thinking of this I pick up the knife. I slit my wrists, the pain soaring up my arms. Tears flowing, I lay against my pillow. I watch the blood flow freely away. It stains my sheets, bedspread, and carpet. I think of your touch, your kiss, your scent, your love. I'm slowly fading away. I hear someone enter my room. Through my blurred vision I see your face. I think it's an illusion, until I hear your voice call my name. You softly touch my face, and smile. Then you realize what I've done, and your face fills with horror, your eyes with tears. You run to call an ambulance, then run back in. You see my letters. You rip yours open as you hold my hand. I hear you scream Oh God, I'm too late! I came to tell you I love you too! You kiss me softly on my forehead, as your tears soak my face. Those were the last words I heard. Unfortunately, you walked back into my life a little too late. Now you have to learn to live life without me. I pray you don't hurt as badly as I did, for I wouldn't wish that pain on anyone. Especially not the guy I love. I hope you will live on. For me. For the girl you loved.
Reason for writing:
I miss my ex-boyfriend tremendously. He left me all alone, and I still love him. I kind of got the idea for this story from the poem In My Heart Forever. I really liked it. Sometimes I wish this would happen to me, but at the last minute my ex would come in and stop me, being (once again) my knight in shining armor. I dedicate this to him. Please type any comments on the comments page. I appreciate them all.
Birth sign: Gemini
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