Upon midnight last Peering up at the plastic stars Taped to the roof of my cave As I lie in bed And close my eyes In hopes of a glimpse A flash from memory To see her once again A fool once complete A blindman in the street Just shuffling his cards But like the stars In my artificial night My hand is played The deck is dealt In random haste But the aftermath cries Only then sees the crime Far too late to reverse So it lies in memories Of what was What could What should have been But will not be And I close my eyes once again And scream Hold me... Hold me goddamn you... But the forbidden touch Can’t come from these fingertips For it lies but in dreams Fathomed of past breath Why? Why must this curse such plague me? And anger swells Throat quivers with pain And tears begin to dwell Reaching for her hand To catch me as I stumble I have come full circle To the true realization So smudged by the fortune cookie I try to lie Mask it like all the rest Unveil nothing to the world But this pen to my mind And this captured embrace This eternal kiss Burning now once again When it cannot be For those arms will close tight And those lips will lock sweet And her eyes That gentle stare Will soothe through the laughter in her heart... But I will lie here still Alone Searching for truth Among these plastic stars Still lying above my head Like the dreams of another day Filming reruns With amatuer anxiety... But I’ll hide it all And swallow the passion That is that one giant star Among the many nameless That glows much brighter That touches much softer That begs me to call out Hold me Give me back What I long so dearly The courage to make dreams real To smile once again The thought that it could be... That she could be... But who am I fooling? Only me...
Reason for writing:
Most of my poems are written out of frustration.
My one true insecurity is in relationships. Because I am afraid to instigate them, I spend time sadly dreaming of a chance to succeed. This one is about a past emotion, which was remembered upon my gazing at plastic stars above my bed.
Birth sign: Not entered
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