MY LOSS Can you imagine what it feels like to feel death while you're still alive? To feel as if your whole existence is now somehow non-existent? To either feel all pain or numbness or all sorrow every waking moment. That's how I feel right now. A painful death that runs deep within. It all came to be because I fell in love. And I'm not talking about anything like I've ever experienced before. Oh, I've said I love you many times. Until I met him, I had never had a feeling I couldn't find the words for. To love him was the source of my well being. There's nothing in the world I wouldn't have done for him. To love him with everything I had to give. And for once in my life, to feel that same thing genuinely. To have someone love me with everything they had in them. For them to express in the ways they knew how. Our relationship was never just about sex, He made love to say the words that couldn't come out of his mouth. But neither of us is yet capable or deserving of a love so great. But yet still immature, our hearts had been aged through time. This was something we wanted and needed but could not handle. But somehow our hearts became intertwined. And when our minds realized that our hearts were at that point, Where we would finally become as one, We convinced ourselves that our mind had to rule over our heart. And in a flash, our world became undone. Two soul-mates on a journey of life together Destroyed at the pit of insecurities. Incapable of loving ourselves enough Unable to let our hearts lead. And so now I lay here dying over and over again. Trying to avoid the pain, trying to say it wasn't meant to be. But my insides are hurting, and I'm powerless at making it stop. Because it is the hurt in my heart that won't seem to cease. It is the heart that fell in love for the first time in my life. It is the heart that now finds itself alone. It is the heart that can't get over the hurt. It is the heart that writes this poem. For once I speak through my heart, Although now I realize that it's too late. I've lost the only man I've truly loved. Because I wouldn't let my heart have its way. Will I ever be able to accept someone for who and what they are? Only then will my mind catch up with my heart. And only then will I once again find you in my life. Only then will nothing be able to tear us apart. Mercedes, October, 98Birth sign: Not entered
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