I will sing now a solemn song,
Of unrequited love
Felt for long.
I wish for you,
My wish hasn't come true
Though, I'm still silently strong...
This morning I walked through the deep woods,
Through the fallen October leaves
As slowly as I could.
The scent of wet
Imminent death
Permeates where I stood.
The remaining leaves hung like lace,
On the broken branches
That the bark does embrace...
And, though I tried
To shield my eyes,
I thought of nothing but your face.
I'm grieving over a distant muse
Who travels the same streets...
I die each day from truth,
Do you think of you girl,
Who probably means the world
While my missing half is you?
No matter how many tears I shed,
You won't be with me -
Though, this thought I dread.
In another's arms this time,
Instead of clinging to mine...
Feeling better if I were dead.
As I trip over this deserted old terrain,
I pick up each
Vermilion leaf covered in rain.
I will press them like glue...
Hold them for you,
Until my tiny hands are stained.
Going home to my house by wooded twilight
I wish I were coming home
To your warm body this night.
I wish I could see
Your arms holding me
By the flickering firelight.
I try to think of this now, no more...
My tears have frozen,
As I approach my lonely back door.
Unwrapping from my throat
My woolen scarf and coat;
Sinking in grief to the floor.
I begin to crawl in disbelief
Across the hewn wood,
While clutching my red-tinted leaves.
With a shrug
I collapse on my rug
Stroking the soft bearskin beneath.
I slowly open up my aching palm,
Staring at the wrinkled leaves.
Where has my love gone!
Wanting to cry again
From covetous sins
I barely remain calm.
For you now my love, a candle is lit
Spreading out my leaves
I then quietly sit.
Each one I will kiss
And make a wish,
In blood and wine it will be writ.
The first leaf is kissed and put on it's place
To remind you of me...
And our one meeting place.
You slipped through my hand
Like so many grains of sand,
Forced to leave in haste.
The second leaf is placed on the floor...
To see you again
Is what I wish for.
When I hear your feet
Pounding to my heartbeat,
Shall you then knock at my door?
The third leaf as it is rest
Is wished upon
My most solemn breast...
That your romance will break
With the girl who shares my namesake,
And I will be put to the test.
The fourth leaf as it is dropped
Is a prayer for me
That you will knock.
That all my being
As I wish for these things
Will cause my torment to stop.
The fifth leaf I hold to my heart,
That we will be together
By tomorrow morn's start.
When the night will turn old
My bed will be no longer cold;
You from my side shall never part.
The sixth leaf is laid with the fifth
For the courage
To wait here and sit...
I will wait however long,
Though I'm not strong;
This on the pages will be writ.
The seventh leaf in this endeavor...
May we always
Be bound together.
Promise our hearts
Shall never part,
Two spirits bound forever.
Now on the floor the leaves do trace
...A heart...
An indented circle that will not break,
And in the center
I place the paper
Of blood and wine that I make.
Now, each leaf I do set afire
Erasing this waste
To build me a pyre!
For now I will not dare
To show you how much I care,
God knows I'm no liar...
The fire now turns to smouldering ashes,
I lie on this rug
As the time passes;
Inhaling the scent
Of the burnt offerings spent
In this firelit room, where the smoke has lasted.
My eyes close in tears, I fall asleep
Wondering about
My childish conceit.
How could I think he might
Wish for me tonight
And find his way to my street!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~********~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
That night I had vivid dreams,
Of him following
The scent of burnt leaves.
My door wasn't locked
So he didn't knock,
And he was startled by the scene.
He seemed to be very distraught...
When he saw me
I wonder what he thought?
I was shivering with a wine jug
On a tear-stained rug,
So, to the bed I was brought.
Not daring to take advantage of me,
He simply covered
And lay next to me.
Smoothing the hair from my face
With precisioned grace
Keeping my soul company.
But, alas! I wake to a lonely world now;
My ceiling framed
By strong pine wood boughs...
I try to go back to sleep
To that image 'fore I weep,
But I feel like something is around...
Nothing in the room I can see...
But I hear a sound!
I wonder what it could be...
I hear a rustle from the floor
Same as before...
When suddenly I look down
and then you said,
My love, did you call for me?
E.A.Altamura, Copyright 1998
Reason for writing:
Red Leaves Burnt was written in June 1996. It is a poem, like many of the first ones I'm submitting about My Loving Half. It was written in a fictional story form, (even for all of it's obsessive qualities)though, using elements of actual events. Funny enough, I wrote it, then what I wrote about came true. Never underestimate the power of the written or spoken word. I never will again! Red Leaves Burnt is one of the poems I'm most proud of, a definite story written in an unusual meter.
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