They run so fast to get away, these thoughts in my head; thoughts of yesterday. Wishing I could have changed it, dreaming of what could have been. Do you ever think of back when.... I could easily make you laugh, I would use your shoulder if I was sad, we could comfortably talk as best friends should, I would choose to be with you every minute I could, I would trust you with my secrets, we could have fallen in love without regrets, Do you ever think of back when.... It's a never ending battle with reality and the past. A mind that focuses on the future, yet still needs to look back to the times we were together. You were my best friend who made me realize what it means to love, to not settle for just enough. I miss you more than words can express, not a tear I've shed could make you hear me confess. Why won't these thoughts of you leave, go anywhere away from me? Run to a mountain top so high or to a barren desert that's dry. Spare my heart the agony of thinking back when.... to the moments that are gone, to my life that was lit with sun, to all your smiles that can never fade, to the times we touched in that way, to what you have put me through, to what you have made me into. What is it about these thoughts in my head? Why can't I forget you and keep you in my heart instead? You are just a dream that my heart still needs to survive. One that feeds on my love that you never believed. A yesterday that's not here today, and probably won't come tomorrow either, but I can't let you go forever. They try so hard to keep you alive, these thoughts in my head; thoughts of yesterday. Running to leave you behind, yet wanting to keep you inside, my mind is racing and my heart is in between a love so rare, and a love not there. Copyright January 2, 1999 by Bobbie J. Brown
Reason for writing:
This poem is about exactly that -- A love not there. A love that is so strong in the heart that it haunts the mind. A love that could never happen because it was only one sided -- A love not there.
Birth sign: Scorpio
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