what i fear most about being in touch with you again is knowing what i truly miss from you your life, your love, your spirit i don't want to know how much i miss you or how much i may need your support and approval i fear that i cannot survive in a world without you being in touch with your goodness without feeling your presence terrifies me i am afraid to feel anymore pain i may resent my existence without you i may see that my life has no meaning or significance without you i am not the same person i was when you were here i long to have a new and better relationship with you free of regrets i am a stronger person i could be better for you now i was a burden, but now i can take care of myself and of you too but you are no longer here i feel that i have failed you i grew up too late i wasn't enough to save us i was only a child i miss you i cannot change things our family is gone, blown apart all that is left is a broken mess four pieces left alone, lost without direction waiting for a life to pass waiting for hope to return asleep in life, to numb the painful loss i still wait for someone to return what i have lost my own true love, one that never goes away a forgiving, unconditional love i have found no love greater than the one that i lost with it, i lost my spirit, my life, my whole being i need to create a world for myself i need to feel free i feel anger for my father, then i pity him i feel sorrow for my mother, and hate myself for allowing it to happen i must protect myself when searching to replace a love that has no equal for to have such a great love a great deal of pain must surely follow i need to love myself i need to learn to trust others i want peace, i wish to see beauty again yet i focus on imperfection i used to think that love was perfect but it is not i am hurt, angry and tired i need to feel free why doesn't the pain leave as quickly as it came why did it have to be this way why do i have to care
Reason for writing:
to express my feelings about the murder/suicide of my parents
Birth sign: Not entered
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