Taste of Steel

by ray phillips - Not entered

Taste of Steel
31 January 1999

It's a new flavor, 
my tastebuds have never known
such coldness, my tongue such smooth
details, milled by a master artisan.
A hint of oil, protecting from decay,
leaves an aftertaste unfamiliar.

My fingers tremble only slightly,
I've done this a million times before 
in my dreams.  Dreams of ending the torment.
Dreams of easing the pain.  The chamber holds
six rounds, but only one is needed today.  This
day, a day of realization of dreams.  A day
when I will finally be free.  Free to leave,
maybe not with dignity, but with finality
the life of a man living not a life 
but a sentence whose burdens outweigh 
the goodness.  Too much time spent hating
who I am, what I've done, the demon within.

The round barrel pushes against the roof
of my mouth.  Should I angle back towards 
my tonsils, or better yet up towards my brain?
Maybe it shouldn't be in my mouth at all?
How about against my temple?  I wish 
I knew the answer, but no matter, I will succeed
tonight, even if the taste of steel is unfamiliar.

Birth sign: Not entered
Date created: 1999-01-31 18:33:17
Last updated: 2021-03-03 14:40:52
Poem ID: 51662

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