My Life, The Martyr

by Scott Burton - Cancer

my life, the martyr

my only happines i find in my life
is finding the impurities that make me so
finding all the wrongs
not looking for the rights

as i know that this is who i am
pity serves me nothing
for this i judge
it is i, who am nothing to become right

nothingness outweighs my rightousness
for my soul there is no redemption
for my ways have proved my sacrafice of a life
that which was my own

i cannot afford to ignore my wrongs
for if i do, there will be nothing to change
for each day it is a journey
to find how i can make myself in better ways

the better ways are ill-forgotten
there is no cure for my ignorance
for i see myself in the light of angels
and i clintch when i see my mortal ways

i seek to find a revelation
but no comfort comes to bear
i've dug my sacrafices too deep
and the truth shows how much it hurts

so i've come to the conclusion
and my minds made up this far
there will come a day for my revelation
but this day seems so far.

Reason for writing:

    I wouldnt call it inspiration.. i'de call it self denigration.. yet, it goes hand in hand.. i hadn't written in two years, and this is the first time i've reached out in words to express myself to myself, and anyone else who would listen.. sometimes i feel so incoherent.. its nice to know someone understands    

Birth sign: Cancer
Date created: 1999-10-28 08:20:48
Last updated: 2021-03-03 14:41:26
Poem ID: 53574

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