Thin Enough

by Hebs - Aquarius

Thin Enough

I am standing in front of the mirror without a stitch on
The age old question appears to me
Like my image
Am I thin enough?
This question is warped like my body,
My shell
There is doubt in the question
It clouds over the image of myself
I wonder, is it the doubt, or the fuzzy dark lighting in this room
That makes me feel skeletal,
Like a black and white photograph.
It is not enough
And if I am not thin enough...
I MUST become thinner.
It is a law I have placed over myself,
Between me and the mirror
Society is dictating to me from my mirror
And if I have to become thinner,
You can be sure
It will not be done in a healthy way
I will not be toned;
there will simply be less of me
I won't eat (I hardly even hear this thought)
The difficult part about this is that the less of me that there is
Will still appear to me like flab
It will not be toned
The process begins all over again
Until,
What's this?
I can see hollows close to my neck.
I press into them
I am doughy,
My neck reacts as if that slight pressure will leave a bruise
It might.
I can feel my collarbone
I can feel my fingers go almost right around it
If I were a gymnast
Maybe I could hang from it
Light and free
Almost as if I were flying through the air
Maybe that's it;
Yes,
If I could hang from my collarbone
Then I would be thin enough.

Reason for writing:

    The possible mindset of a misconstrued weight psychology or philosophy.
An anorexic's thoughts?  (Not the poet's.)    

Birth sign: Aquarius
Date created: 2000-01-24 21:42:08
Last updated: 2021-03-03 14:41:43
Poem ID: 54457

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