And I die 2/4/99 As I stand on my death place, In my white linen dress, I reflect on the past days: A week ago I was holding the scarlet letter, Now I wait, in what glory I have left, To die. I went to the market for eggs, And cheese. When a small girl of 5 or 6 Years of age went into epileptic seizures, After I had given her a candy. The ignorant pigs who run this town, Have accused me of witchcraft. How insane?? But, if they believe in god they will, Believe in evil. Witch I certainly am not, I’m just me. My mother died when I was 7, My father but 6 years ago, I have had to take care of my brother and sisters. For, I am the eldest. My earlier prostitution was for support, We have nothing. I spend all money on food. If my sisters or brother is hungry I will not eat. Twice a year, if that, I buy new clothes for us. A pale mist surrounds me, As I walked to the cross this morning. I prayed – for the first time in my life, I prayed. As the towns people crowd around, To stare and through rocks, I await my wrongful death. I’m leaving them, and I feel so bad, they need me. My sister Mary will have to fill my shoes. My sisters are crying, my brother is not here. He doesn’t want to see me die. They all are so melancholy As he approaches me, reading the order, They all tingle in excitement, Happy, to see me gone. I am the first of many to have this cruel fate. I’m not sure of where I’ll go, Heaven maybe, or maybe just in the ground. Stone cold and dead. Where ever I go, I’m not ready yet. I’m not this being, of which I’m accused, I’m just a wench, who likes to read, Whose parents died, who has too much Responsibility to die. I don’t deserve this. I deserve better! I never harmed a living thing, I all ways had good intentions. I’m not ready for this, I never thought this would be it. As the light ascends my ankles, my thighs, And hair, I die not crying, not begging for forgiveness. I have no remorse for myself, I loathe this town, I die, am but 16.
Reason for writing:
just what spewed out of my pen, i feel i lived this. like i was the girl.
Birth sign: Cancer
You need to log in to edit this poem if it is yours.
View more poems by emma stiches.