Ballet slippers & girrly things 7/27/99 Dead fish lay in the lake, Stop dead water, Stagnate cut water, They look so happy. They say leave it alone, They say drown her. If you saw me would you remember? I cannot tell you. We could meet, in my head. Shut her up, cry me out. Our time, our one. I should die while I’m ahead. Dead boys play in my mind, Bring me back to my enemies, They were imaginary, You know? I read Sylvia Plath, I write, I sleep, I feed my addiction. I slit my wrists once. Just to see how it felt. I liked it so I did it, again And again. I just got so bored. Inhale and read, I feel so good, since I cut my hair, I feel so good without my secondhand Cancer. I’ll brush my hair, and wear make up, But I won’t take action. There’s no good time for this to end. She likes it. Exhale and vomit what you read. I’ll guard my mind, She guards his sweet sex like a pearl. Hold your fears close to you. She said. You are not good enough for my son, She said, look at you. All the fountains of Europe could not Cure what illness I had. It just made it worse To look at these things. It made me so sad-sick. Just get over it. I’m fighting myself, I’m fighting too hard. “Sweet low, cherry, cherry, it’s so awful.” And now I realize what has happened.
Reason for writing:
this was when i was very unispired, i could hardly write. i was drinking tea and sitting in my garden at night w/ candles lit, smoking a cigarette. my friend cera walked up to me and told me what she had done, this frightened me and and she sat down and started smoking. she doesnt smoke. at that point i was very inspired and finnished off what i had started. afterwards we got very drunk.
Birth sign: Cancer
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