I sit in this dark hole trying to remember what daytime looks like. I see the light flowing into this evil place knowing it will never see the sun again. My hands run over these stone walls bleeding more and more from the constant movement. I reach my hand upward and strain to get my fingertips to touch the light. Atleast they may sence some form of happiness. My fingernails are grinding down from trying to claw my way through this stone. But this wall is stronger than I have ever been or will ever be. Mostly it's wishful thinking. Smothering and effervescent smoke clouds this already darkened hole. This smoke clouds my eyes and memory of anything comforting until it is so vague I can harly remember. I fills my lungs and makes the strive for the breeze of a cloudless day. I am learning to try not to remember. I am learning to free all my hopes. I sit in this darkness and stare into the black that surrounds me. And I have finally learned that this will be all I'll ever know.
Reason for writing:
This is one of my earlier poems. It was written in '96 before I
met my husband. Most of my poetry was like that. This is about a
love that is not returned. So the earlier stuff is more depressing.
Birth sign: Capricorn
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