I Hate Myself

by chris - Aries

I hate myself for drinking
I hate myself for being insecure
I hate myself for taking you for granted
I hate myself for thinking I was pure.

I hate myself for cheating on you
I hate myself for hurting you
I hate myself for breaking your heart
I hate myself for tearing us apart.

I hate myself for leading you to believe I was the one
I hate myself for speaking about what was in my heart
I hate myself for losing you
I hate myself for letting you think I was your dream from the very start.

I hate myself for being a phony
I hate myself so much I can't sleep
I hate myself for this mistake
I hate myself on my birthday.

I hate myself so much I've lost my self-respect
I hate myself so much I'll never forgive myself for doing this to you
I hate myself so much I wanna die
I hate myself for losing all my pride.

I hate myself so much I can't stop thinking about what I've done
I hate myself for losing something so sacred
I hate myself for losing it to someone who means nothing
I hate myself for not sharing it with you.

I hate myself so much that I cry
I hate myself so much my heart bleeds
I hate myself for not being able to let this go
I hate myself for going against everything I believe in.

I hate myself for thinking I was different from every other guy
I hate myself for being just like every other guy
I hate myself for thinking I was special
I'll hate myself till the day I die.

Just to learn my lesson
that I drink to much 
and my insecurity runs my life
I had to not only lose someone so special
I have to live with the fact that I hurt them
and made them cry.

The only respect I have
is that I told you the truth
at least I cared enough to tell you
I cheated on you.

You deserve better than this
you deserve your dream guy
we both thought I was the one
but I'm an asshole
just like everyone else.

Reason for writing:

    I wrote this poem because I cheated on my girlfriend.  I got drunk,
jumped to conclusions because of my insecurity.
I lost the one girl I truly loved and my pride and self-respect all in one night.
I went against everything I thought made me special and different fom every other guy.

In order for me to learn a lesson, not only do I hate myself, but I lost the sweetest
girl in the world.  But the pain that I have to learn to live with,
is that I hurt someone that was an angel. That is something I will never forgive myself for,
or ever forget.    

Birth sign: Aries
Date created: 2000-04-28 11:29:58
Last updated: 2021-03-03 14:42:07
Poem ID: 55735

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