So this is insane...

by Twisted*belittled*Gem - Gemini

I take a step forward;
And the whole world spins.
I try to control my breathing;
But the hyper-ventilating wins

The tears take me over,
My body starts to shudder.
If only I could be strong,
If only I had the will.

Something so strange, growing inside me,
Feeling it, struggling, fearing for conscienseness.
Ripping up through head, tidal waves of shudders,
Dizzing into unconsciencness, dimly aware.

Things start to dull,
Slowly becoming null.
Insanity so cold,
Cruely takes a hold.

Fucked in the head, all messed up,
Fully aware yet totally insensible,
Can't think, can't stand, taken over.
So this is hell, not hot but cold.

Hello who am I, where do I belong, in a world
I don't belong, never could, never would, never will
Will is what I need to fight this
Hell, not hot but o so cold.

So cold, so incredibly icy,
A thudding in the head, Dimly conscious, dulling sensing
Thrashing, breathing, hearts beating,
When will I awake, fuck where is my prince.

After it all, thro it all that's left
A tiny, lone, confused, disturbed, fucked, broken and saddnened voice
That's hardly heard, 
Echos' itself inside my head, as it will thro eternity
So this is it, so this is insane.

Reason for writing:

    I wuz afraid that if i didn't write my feelings down i'd go COMPLETELY insane    

Birth sign: Gemini
Date created: 2000-04-30 20:30:26
Last updated: 2021-03-03 14:42:08
Poem ID: 55786

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