What should I do? It has been so long since I felt anything like this… I swore that I would not let it happen again I barely survived the havoc the last one left… Is it even plausible? Maybe she thinks I am just another nice guy, being nice… She doesn’t know I am hoping for more Then again, am I hoping for more, am I even ready for more… maybe I should just leave us be friends... What could I do? Until meeting her, my mind was stuck on the last one… Still, everything I see and hear reminds me of the last one The one I lost, the one I loved and still love, the one that crushed me heartlessly… Does she realize what I am thinking? Now I can see what the last one did not have: honesty, outspokenness, among other things... This new one has that and more, maybe even too much more for me But I can learn from my mistakes, can’t I… What can I do? There’s a difference in age, but does it really matter… My heart says “no”, but my brain says “yes” That always seems to be an internal battle for me, but which one is right… Is it even fair to her? I think I can sort-of see what she likes and wants and needs… I know I am not all of them, but I am definitely some of them I might even be some of them she doesn’t even realize she wants… What will I do? She seems content with her current situation, what right do I have to intrude... Does my desire for happiness too allow me to risk hers, but on the other hand, I thought I heard subtle hints She has said others are not out of the realm of possibility, in her near future, but how near is that… Do thoughts of me even cross her mind? If they don’t, then what is the point… I really don’t know that much about her but for some reason she is such a welcome distraction It is like I saw some wondrously beautiful thing out of the corner of my eye that I have to see again… What is she doing to me? When I see her, I want to tell her how I feel, why won’t the words come out… I think I saw a flirt here or there, but it could be just wishful thinking on my part, maybe she is just being nice Does she realize she is the cause of the first romantic thoughts I’ve had in a long time… How will this end? Do I even have the right to try to invade on her existence… Time is running out, if I don’t do something soon, my chance will be gone, but I could also be ruining it all if I try I will make an attempt and let her decide, friend or more... better to try and fail than not to try at all… and regret… regret only drives one mad...
Reason for writing:
For someone I met that made me think again... I realize that by writing this, I risk to lose all and gain nothing... but not doing so would mean keeping silent and denying my heart... a mistake I have learned not to make again...
Birth sign: Aquarius
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