Apathy

by Sneak - Virgo

I walk now with the shadows,
Treading ever so carefully,
For fear I will sink further.
I am, already,
Tightly enmeshed,
Deeper than a corpses tender caress,
In the thickly coiling grey.
It twines with whispers,
Through my mind and heart, body and soul.
When it reached that last,
That piece I had hidden away,
I think I screamed.
Screamed until my lungs rent,
And my tears ran cold with scalding,
Some part of me screams still,
Silently now, ever so silently,
As all my real emotions are.
I am changing,
Have changed with the dark and despair.
The brutality of cold infects my eyes,
Slivers of ice sharp enough to cut others.
My heart stopped living a long time ago,
Packed up quietly one night and moved away.
I can feel the vacant lot, still there,
Windswept and lonely,
Where once it made hope its merry home.
I wish,
Sometimes,
I could claim devotion to something higher,
That I am suffering for a cause,
Living for dignity,
Integrity or a promise,
But the truth is,
I don't know why I'm living,
Or more, perhaps, I don't care.
But then,
If I am truly honest,
I know I am not living at all,
I am just not dead.
And that is not so bad most of the time,
Apathy can be a friend,
With its muffling cocoon,
And mantra chant,
You can't be hurt,
When you don't care,
You can't be hurt.
Still,
Every once in a while,
Somebody else,
Touches the grey,
Kisses with the faintest ring,
Of fading seconds,
And how others are living them,
And then,
I would cry,
If,
Only,
I could........
Birth sign: Virgo
Date created: 2000-05-17 23:34:15
Last updated: 2021-03-03 14:42:15
Poem ID: 56096

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