Contemplating

by Parvati - Gemini

It seems like everyone who contemplates anything ends up nowhere
I don’t know whether I should contemplate life anymore
Because I want to end up somewhere
And I’m still trying to find out where I am
I guess you have to know where you are to know where you’ll end up
I know I’m somewhere...I’m just not sure where yet
If only there was a map to my mind and heart
That way I would never get lost
But I always get lost...lost in love, lost in thought...
And I end up nowhere when I get lost
Where am I! 
Please tell me if you know
I really want to know because I want to find out how to get out of here
Because I hate this place, wherever I am
Wherever I am..............
Kurt Cobain contemplated life 
My blood is red like the color of the head  of Kurt Cobain when he shot himself dead
It’s ironic that I know nothing about him
But so much about him from his music
And I guess that if I contemplate him too much 
I’ll end up contemplating life
And contemplating life is contemplating death
And contemplating death is contemplating suicide
And contemplating suicide isn’t something that I should do
But I find myself doing it occasionally
And I’m not depressed--in fact, I’m filled with an exuberent happiness
I’m just trying to contemplate how to contemplate without ending up nowhere
Because I want to end up somewhere
Most of all, I want to know where I am......

Reason for writing:

    I wrote this because I was trying to express how it seems like nowadays, I don't know myself well at all, and I am somewhat oblivious to my surroundings, which isn't a very good thing...    

Birth sign: Gemini
Date created: 2000-05-20 16:13:42
Last updated: 2021-03-03 14:42:15
Poem ID: 56142

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