Love and Knives

by Kathryn Schad - Gemini

Blood flowing from this wounded heart
Torn by a love that used to be
I wish I could make believe that we are still together
But you make that impossible

You freely hurt my naïve soul
And took away my mind
I used to think that you cared 
But you really don’t

I see you in the hall
You pass without a glance
Did I not mean anything?
Was I just a toy?

I go home at night 
And start to cry
Thinking of all I did wrong
And what I should have done

Later, after all is quiet
I slip upstairs
And go to the drawer
‘Grab a knife’ my mind says

Feeling the cold steel against my wrist
I start to quiver
The knife slowly cuts
Exposing bright, red blood

I put my wrist to my lips
And taste my own sweet blood
I attempt to write a note
But my hand fails to move

Now I am on the floor
Surrounded by my life
Thinking my last thought
‘I never wanted to die.’

The next day, as I watch from above
My parents find me, pale and cold
They call the police
Staring in disbelief

‘She was so happy!’ they cried
They called my friends and let them know
When they got to him
He screamed and hung up

‘Why did you do it?’ he calls to me
‘We could have been together.’
‘I loved you with all my heart.’
But it was too late

After he said that
I broke down in Heaven
I had taken my own life
And I didn’t even want to die.

Reason for writing:

    Last Thursday, May 18, my boyfriend and I broke up. It made me depressed because I changed for him and I really liked him alot. Also, the love of my life, Shaun, whom I have loved since 1997, is suicidal and a drug addict. I was depressed at the beginning of the year, and figured that love was an easy subject to write about.    

Birth sign: Gemini
Date created: 2000-05-22 22:37:44
Last updated: 2021-03-03 14:42:16
Poem ID: 56172

You need to log in to edit this poem if it is yours.

View more poems by Kathryn Schad.