In My Heart Forever II
["and I will carry it with me until the day I die."
The poet lifts her pen from the paper,
and a tear falls from her eye.
She almost cannot believe what she has written.
So powerful, and yet, this poem comes from a
place deep within her,
one she has not yet even discovered.
Unlike so many of her poems, this is not
written from her life's experiences.
She is thankful for that.
She prays that she will never know heartache like this.
And yet, only two years later......]
I wanted to tell you I love you today
but I just couldn't get the words out.
As you stood before me, letting go.
You say you don't know why you're thinking these things
you don't seem to know anything anymore.
I want to tell you that I don't understand,
that everything was going so well...
the last thing you said to me was "I love you"
and now you're giving up.
Not just on me or us, but on yourself.
I want to scream in your face that you promised
me you wouldn't hurt me, and that my
heart is now breaking...
instead I cry hopeless tears and ask
you what you want me to do.
You say you don't want me to walk away,
you still need me in your life.
You say you're killing yourself inside every day.
But I look deep inside your beautiful brown eyes,
and I still see life there.
Pain, suffering, confusion,
but life too...
I start to tell you this, but realize that
now is not the time to argue.
I wanted to reach out and touch your face,
instead I asked if it was ok to hug you,
and I was so relieved when you agreed.
We embraced, and I never wanted to let go.
I wanted to tell you, to beg you to hold on to life.
I wanted to say that if you died, it might kill me,
but the last thing I said to you was to call me
if you needed to...
Suddenly, I was reminded of a line from Romeo and Juliet,
"eyes, look your last...arms, take your last embrace..."
It's all a dream to me now.
I walk around in a haze of regret.
And every time I close my eyes I see you lying there
so still and cold...
another tragic victim of lost faith.
And I realize that I may never look into
those brown eyes
or embrace your warm body again.
I wanted to tell you I love you today,
instead I just turned and let you walk away.
And the tears in my eyes,
now they won't bring you back.
And in my mind, I'll see things as they used to be,
holding each other tight,
wishing time would cease,
your smile would light up the world around me
and nothing else mattered,
as long as we were together.
Now there's an emptiness, so cold in my eyes
no one told me I'd have to say this kind of good-bye.
So fare thee well, my love,
wherever now you are,
And please know you'll always be here with me,
forever in my heart.
-Jada Marie Andrews
7-11-00
Reason for writing:
Unfortunately, unlike the first poem, this one comes from an experience I recently had...
Well, partly. If you're really interested, you can ask me what happened...
I would appreciate any comments on this or even the older one, if you have any...
Birth sign: Capricorn
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