Feelings

by Kelly Hamrick - Gemini

I hate the way I feel 
I wish these feelings were not real
I want my best friend back with me
and for all my happiness to once again be
I don’t think I have ever felt this way
Happy and sad all in the same day
Sometimes I want to run from this
but someday I know my life will be bliss
I hate the way I feel
like I have lost everything to me that is real
So happy that I have found my true love
But sad that I can’t feel that real love
And I can’t explain why I can’t feel
as happy as I should be with the feelings so real
I feel like I have won and lost at the same time
and I don’t know what to make of this rhyme
I don’t want my life to change
from everything close to me, but in a distant range
I hate that soon I will leave my town
and everything else will close around
I could go on for days about what I hate
but what about what I feel, is it fate?
I hate how I can’t even explain my feelings
Maybe that is because I don’t know what I feel
I want to turn back the hands of time
and make the happiness in this world be mine
I want to be happy the way I once was
I wish I could feel my true love
Why can’t things just go right for once
Why can’t everything I hate be everything I love?

Reason for writing:

    This is basically everything (well not everything..actually not even close) that is going through my head right now.  I hate the way i feel, and i wish i could change it, but i don't know how.  I don't know how to change everything and make myself be happy that i have found someone that i really love, and i KNOW i love, i just am not IN LOVE, or at least not that i know of, because i can't feel anything of happiness right now.  Everything in my life seems to be going wrong, and i am just waiting for the slightest thing to set me off completely and i will totally flip.  Its so hard loosing your best friend, especially wherever you go, something reminds you of that time when we did this or that...and everything else, and nothing at home is going right, and i just feel like i'm tired, and i'm sick of everything, and i just want to run away, but i can't, because it will only make things worse...there has to be a way to deal with this!    

Birth sign: Gemini
Date created: 2000-07-14 16:26:35
Last updated: 2021-03-03 14:42:29
Poem ID: 56884

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