I can't grow up without you

by Lynn - Leo

If knew you
I wouldn't have said those cruel words that I thought I meant
If you hadn't touched me
I would have given love a chance
I've never walked away from you
From some distant place
I felt a touch that was right from you
We've never hugged from spur of the moment
We've never even kissed
Seventeen years now
And we still can't admit that we know each other
I've held a strong hate for you
I never liked to go to you
To cry with you
We have walked away from every chance that has been given
We turn our heads
Feeling nothing
At our first moment
You loved me
You would always see if I was o.k.
And something changed
You anger was pointed always in my direction
It didn't matter the cause
You hit me 
Threw me to the ground and kicked me until I couldn't walk
I never knew why
And now I do
You began you life as a beautiful, lovable child
The world distorted you because you were different
No one would give you a chance
Not even your father
I never knew that part of the story...but now I do
I'm your little sister
The one with the big smile
The one who use to play football with you
Who would listen to every word you said and never have a doubt
I've always known that there was something hidden deep inside the chambers of my soul
A place that I would keep dark
And I know what it is
It's something that I've never expressed to you
Never put into words of beauty
But into hatred
And even though we can't talk anymore
I figure that this one thing is too different to ignore
You're my older brother
I've looked up to you since the first opening of my eyes
Before you leave
Before you travel your destiny
I have to tell you that I love you
I've never held it against you for hurting me
Only built an angry love
I vow to always protect you
No matter what the world says about you
I'll never turn my head away

Reason for writing:

    My brother and I went through a rough time in our lives.  He started out as a happy little boy.  Things changed on him because he had learning disablities and my Dad was a drug addict and an alchoholic.  The world at that time didn't except people like my brother.  But I do.  And I regret every time I critisized his stugglness to move forward.  I'll never forgive myself.    

Birth sign: Leo
Date created: 2000-07-21 18:38:02
Last updated: 2021-03-03 14:42:31
Poem ID: 56962

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