CANCER

by Samantha - Scorpio

I still remember the hall
The long white corridor
The constant beeps
Phones
Chatter from people in a hurry
Those screams
God, those horrible screams
Of pain
Of death
Of hell
And that doorway
The doorway that led to the reality
That I had denied
Refused
You lay there
IV’s sticking from your arms
Pale
Barely breathing
Someone that gave me life
That gave my life meaning
Now being threatened of her life
Of her joys
Of herself
You were a nightmare to me
Something I didn’t want to face
That I couldn’t face
At so young of an age
12
I was just a baby
Still learning about life
And death
And you
I couldn’t let you go
And I still remember going to school each and every day
Never knowing
Whether you’d be there when I got home
And never showing the tears to my fellow students
They’d have called me different
Looked at me in pity
Felt sorry for me
And then came the day that you came back to me
Said that you were better
That you were ok
And I loved you
More than ever before
For fighting
For not giving up
For being my mom
But now the scare is back
And you’re terrified
Of losing one of your own
One of your babes
Your only daughter
And now you are faced with the need of protection
Of getting me through
This horrible mess
And I have the responsibility of coming to you
Whenever there’s pain
A lump
An odd mark
Some sort of clue
That I have gotten what you had had 
All because I’m a girl 
Mother-daughter
And you’re scared as hell that one of these days
The tests will come back
The tests I now have to take every year
Will say that the nightmare is back
And that there’s no hope this time
But mom please
Just hold my hand
We’ll get through this time
Just like the last
We’ve been through too many cancer deaths
We can’t lose hope now.

Reason for writing:

    My mom had cancer when I was twelve. She eventually had surgery and had it taken out of her but since she had a feminine form of cancer that is easily passed on mother to daughter, she now worries about me. And starting this halloween when I turn 18, I'll have to have a yearly check up. I have to report to her whenever I feel unusally tired, or I feel a lump, or when I have an odd mark on one of my beauty marks or anything. We just recently had two people die last year from our family of cancer but I'm trying my best to think positive. There's no point in worrying.    

Birth sign: Scorpio
Date created: 2000-07-25 15:39:46
Last updated: 2021-03-03 14:42:31
Poem ID: 57006

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