When to die....

by Desiree Martin - Aquarius

When to die

Thoughts running through my head, I don’t know why
I’m contemplating when to die

Should the time be now?
And if so, how?

I can o.d. buy it may not work
The memories of attempted o.d’s in the past, in the back of my mind they still lurk

No.  This time I will actually accomplish something
I will put an end to the depression and the suffering

The razorblade gleams with hope
Waiting, patiently, for a time when I can no longer cope

It’s lined with dried blood from times before
And it smells of tweek, I wish I had more

It waits in my hands asking me “when?”
“When will I be able to draw blood again?”

I wish that I had an answer to give
When will I decide that I can no longer live?

I’m breaking down, the end is so near
As the razorblade calls out to me, I can see that it is time to end my fear



Reason for writing:

    depression.....please comment    

Birth sign: Aquarius
Date created: 2000-08-28 16:19:52
Last updated: 2021-03-03 14:42:39
Poem ID: 57401

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