How could I have known there'd be joy, And pain to remember on the same day? The birth of my son four years ago today... And when I landed in the hospital to stay? Just a few hours ago, I was making his favorite meal. Meatloaf and mashed potatoes, this just can't be real. I wanted to tell him "I'm sorry for spoiling your day" As I try to speak, nothing comes out, but a tiny tear down my cheek. What is happening? Why can't I speak? I try to move thinking I've got so much to do. Why won't my legs move? And why is everyone looking so blue? I look up on the sign on the door, why does it say ICU? Oh my God this can't be true. I've still got so much more to do. It's my Sons birthday I try to say. Please, I can't possibly stay. This is spoiling my sweet little boy's special day. Paralyzed from the mouth down they say, how can this be? I've children at home who need their Mommy, …and that's me! Months in the hospital and extensive therapy, I finally came home to my children who needed me. But will they be scared when they see, That she isn't what she used to be? Mommy can't run and play hide and seek anymore. But nothing can change how much I love and adore, My precious children who had to endure so much more... My struggle to survive has been hard I must confess. But nothing compares to what my sweet little boy, The birthday boy of four years old, had to witness. That day there shouldn't have been pain only joy. I'm still the same person… A Mommy full of love... And with the help of the Lord up above, I've made it this far and for now I'm here to stay. As long as I live I'll remember that day, And in spite of all the pain it contained, I was blessed with my beautiful son the same day. Copyright © Cynthia Miller 2000
Reason for writing:
Took me 8 years to finally write about this painful time of my life.
Birth sign: Pisces
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