i looked at you today, i wish i could slash the mirror that connects me to you. i am not that vacant stare smiling numbly back at me... this reflection makes me feel incredibly empty. but my little pills can fill the void. just one more pill...swallowing it is so easy. sit back, and watch the world go by with dizzying velocity... faster and faster, less empty, less empty. i look at you now, and i could stare at you forever... your vacant stare looks so beautiful now. sit back, and forget about the problems in my life. i am an observer, no longer a participant... and people look at me. "are you all right?" voices echoing, echoing..stop...stop...... this is going too fast...just one more pill. it slides down delightedly and i hold his hand.... "relax..i'll take care of you" voices echoing, echoing. this is life... life isn't the numb face in the mirror, the problems gnawing away at my soul. life isn't the suffering, the impoverished... that's all a nightmare...but this, this is reality. and i'm forced to suffocate in that nightmare too often... i can't look at you without tears rolling down. just one more pill...it laughs down my throat. fun, fun, fun...i laugh along with it, and watch the people go by. in a few hours i crash back into this nightmare. my head feels split open...the pills, scattered, on my desk, look so inviting. just one more pill... i sit back, and watch my life go by.
Reason for writing:
i ran away this summer and started doing all sorts of drugs...i came back, and went to rehab, but nothing really helped...i don't know what i can do but sit back and watch the world speed by in front of me.
Birth sign: Gemini
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