I am Violent because I Crave To Be

by Phil Yarborough - Aquarius

I shouldn't be violent, but I like it.
I shouldn't hit him because he's different, but I hate him.
I shouldn't start trouble, but I thrive on it.

I need the energy,
I need the confidence,
I need to prove to the one who taunts me,
And says I'm weak, and calls me scared,
I need to prove myself wrong.

The challenge gives me a rush
As I give him a splash in the face
As his blood is spilled, and he doesn't look back
It adds another medal for me to wear
But it's never enough.

The commotion, I love it
If it's creator is me or someone else
I love it.

I've tried the peace thing,
My idol tells me I'm wrong,
I've gone against the grain
I've nothing to gain
But a couple of minutes of adrenalin.

I'm civilized enough to know the bad i do
And the waste of energy i use,
But I need it.

I'm not always the winner,
But there's no shame in being beaten
By someone more superior
As long as I win if i think I should
One more trip home with blood and black eyes.

I'm a quiet person,
If only you knew me.
I wouldn't strike a friend
But would think twice about it.
Positively unstable they say.

I clash against myself
I know the way forward
But battle on the rough road backwards.
I write poetry, I read novels,
I draw and paint and listen to the Beatles,
I love people from other races
But I hit Goths, grebs, gays, geeks.

I am a townie
I wear those clothes they hate so much
I listen to the Roses and other "shit" like that.
They mouth at me, but can't back what they say,
My short fuse is lit
My sort temper is lost
I strike.
They don't say that again
They look away from me when I see the out
They tell their friends, it starts again,
We’re chasing our tails.

It's not the way forward
But it's my way.

Birth sign: Aquarius
Date created: 2000-10-06 13:26:59
Last updated: 2021-03-03 14:42:50
Poem ID: 57850

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