i am too far gone to be brought back alive

by Antwan Fields - Aries

as i write this i feel suicidal
i don't know what to do
im afraid of what i will find 
and what i will do
i am in love 
and i am capable of loving 
but i am gone
right off the fucking cliff
heading for the river
headfirst
i knew i would get scared
paranoid, if i may
but the simple fact is that danny is not mine
and couldn't be
not yet 
as i write this the feeling in me is of fear
but of fatalism
i fear that death is coming
to the point where i am looking over my shoulder
and that is why i jumped off the cliff without a parachute
i am fearful that life will come to an end with a sickening crunch and i feel bad 
the next life may be better
as i look at the world falling apart before my eyes
denying me the right to marry my boyfriend if i see fit
fuck pat buchanan
as i write this
suicide becomes an option
and its time i disappear
i want to marry my boyfriend if i want
and the world falls apart before my eyes and a thought occurs to me:
who would want to live here
and the suicide option becomes the best choice
so i say:
le petit mort
(french for a little death)

Reason for writing:

    its true. after seventeen years,because of a fear that i will die young, suicide has become an option.    

Birth sign: Aries
Date created: 2000-11-13 15:14:23
Last updated: 2021-03-03 14:43:01
Poem ID: 58424

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