everyday life

by RedDream - Libra

i feel i'm 81
but when i look at my face, my body
i realize it can't be true
but i still doubt
whether my face is just a mask
perhaps my secret
and then i have to remind myself 
of my actual age
by remembering my birth date
but what the hell does it change
when i'm aware of the pure fact
that i should have been dead
long time ago
preferably when i was a baby
and i say to myself
maybe then you'd finally be happy, satisfied
for as you said it urself once
i ruined ur life
simply by choosing to survive
when you showed be this
pathetic, superficial, with no values world
10 yrs later on i promised you
to do one responsible action in my darn life
and i haven't forgotten it yet
i suppose i never will
don't you dare to either!
a couple of days ago
i listened to an alien's life story
and i believed he was an ordinary guy
simply a human
not like me
cuz i didn't know he's from another universe
where i still believe i'm able to find happiness too
but i'm not sure yet.
so i thought he was a human at first
i knew i wasn't one
'cause my personality's too ambivalent
too abstract
to belong to an original human
unfortunately, i just realized
perhaps too late
that when he asked me to fight
at the same time he handed me a knife
smiling so innocently
now he's dangerous, irrational
and since nothing hampers me anymore
i've come to the conclusion 
that he can't controle the power i gave him
as a gift
and now it's like poison to me
which means i have to take it back
to ruin it, to bury it
as soon as possible.
Birth sign: Libra
Date created: 2000-11-23 08:43:42
Last updated: 2021-03-03 14:43:03
Poem ID: 58576

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