I am the ghost.

by dudet - Scorpio

dreaming of ghost day and night-
watching me, hurting me, protecting me-
scaring me of the words-
i don't want to say-
pushing me to say the ones that need to be-
Then i realize-
as i catch myself staring at the nothing again-
most of the time i feel like i'm not living a life-
I see everybody elses faces and all i can see of mine is the round sides of my nose-
does anyone else?-
i feel i am the ghost watching people-
failing, succeeding, dieing inside and never knowing-
until its too late-
or is it ever too late?-

I see myself in the mirror and i feel alive again-
the same feeling creeps up when i am with people that talk to me even when they don't want something-
my real friends-
how many is that-
10,12,20 even?-
comparing the numbers to the people in the world or even the people in my school-
not a lot-
but its a few less times i am the ghost-

i watch the people that call me a friend-
but only talk to me when they want something-
take from me what i don't have-
ignore me till then-
I'll be watching-
i'm the ghost-

when i was little-
i did dream i was the ghost that i am now-
but i could see me living-
a wonderful life with laughter and smiles-
it was a dream-
it hurts my face to smile-
why do i need to i am the ghost-
now i am dead-
a ghost in my odd dreams-
only being able to see my rounded nose-
and watching the people live-

Because i don't complain-
and i have learned that gossiping hurts-
i am not alive i am the ghost-
Because i don't dramatize everything-
i am not alive i am the ghost-
and because i just deal with it when i can't change it-
i am not alive i am the ghost-
now as i sit by the library at lunch-
only the rare friends-
are wandering what i'm writing-
when i am with them i can see me laughing, smiling-
and it doesn't hurt-
i'm able to see more to me then a rounded nose-
with them i am alive-
they make me alive-

Reason for writing:

    the people who don't give the time in less its to their own benifit    

Birth sign: Scorpio
Date created: 2000-11-30 15:45:40
Last updated: 2021-03-03 14:43:06
Poem ID: 58725

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