My heart will be whole (a xmas wish)

by dudet - Scorpio

What i would give
to have my heart whole again
a fresh start
but with the experience
no scars
no holes
no cold black spots
whole again

I would give my possesions
my body
my last breathe
to see him one last time
hair tucked back
in that hat i hate so much
turning the corner of the pier wall
my heart would be whole again

This time
i would not hesitate
not for a second
i would run faster 
just to see him enter the building
just to be swallowed by the crowd
at least i would see him
my heart would be whole.

He needs to know
how i feel 
i have to find him
so my heart can be whole

Here he comes
love flows through my body, warm
something i haven't felt in what seems forever
the hole is being filled.

He sees me
smiles his crooked smile and runs toward me 
the words boil inside me 
they burst out so fast
they seem to fly past him
lost forever
but he caught them 
and i'm left with an awwed look
replacing his crooked smile
looking down at my worn shoes
the hole is getting bigger

He lets my mind wander
"He doesn't love me"
"He found someone better"
"I ruined it, he will never love me"
The hole will never be filled
My heart will never be whole again.

I feel his promising hands under my chin
and lifts my head
i see his starburst eyes
and begin to feel better
more confident in my words
the hole is shrinking

I recieve the passionate kiss
i have waited and longed for
all his love is in this kiss
he never did well with words
i wish it wouldn't end
but as everything it does
he looks in my eyes
down to my heart to see if he mended the hole he caused with his absence
it is
full with love and the feeling of being needed
I got my christmas wish.

Reason for writing:

    just what i want for christmas, but what you dont believe in doesn't exist so i will always have a hole, a scar and cold black spot.    

Birth sign: Scorpio
Date created: 2000-12-23 01:37:38
Last updated: 2021-03-03 14:43:14
Poem ID: 59144

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