consensual secrecy

by kylee - Pisces

just negotiating responsibility
with fantasy
can't concentrate on the books
while trying to decipher your
ever evolving looks at me
difficult to filter through 
fantasy and realality
what you really want with me
hard to see
fux up my filtering of realality
but i passed up all chances to see
walked down the alley with you
to gaze upon the living statue
 should have
tested my boundaries with you
beyond flirting
should have tried one kiss
would have surprised you
hopefully excited you
to see what to make of this
even if you would have shot me down
the look on your face 
would have been worth the what ever the risk
just knowing that we knew
that i went there with you
it would have been risking:
1. sexual harassment charges
2. possible expulsion
3.  unwanted popularity
seriously doubt you would
persecute me
we would know
and of course 
you would tell mrs. Godfree
just consensual secrecy
that would have been all
my own fucking stupidity
for passing up the opportunity
in the alley
now everything is the same as before
the way we knew it
just student teacher bullshit
no opportunities 
to test my theories 
in the class room
where it begins
constricted by inhibitions
in new orleans
i'll never have that chance again
to know what could have been
11-27-00
Birth sign: Pisces
Date created: 2000-12-23 02:03:29
Last updated: 2021-03-03 14:43:14
Poem ID: 59156

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