Mind of Insanity (anger and rage)

by Kistler - Taurus

Anger and rage keep inside of my cage
I can’t even type, this shit fights inside
Do I keep the TV on or do I sit in silence
I can’t stand this feeling of violence
Inside as if I just watched myself die

I try to calm down, but I can’t erase this frown
What the fuck do I do?
Trying to kill this pain, trying to get back to the same
Feeling like I have shamed
Cause I don’t help a friends and I feel like I’ve sinned

I want to go but my body says no
I’m tearing up inside and I’m not sure why
Come talk to me and see that I’m insane
What is wrong with me? What is going on in my brain?

I’m all alone and I’m about to go and fuck something up
And then go….
I don’t know…

Get me out of this place
Cause this hate I can't erase
I need to not care
I need to not feel
I need to not love
Cause I don’t know what to do
I don’t know what do say
As I start to calm down
Start to be kindof ok

Then I try to breathe deep
But that calm I can’t keep 
Cause I start to think again
Of what I want and cant have
What the fuck do I do
This pounding keeps coming
My lifeline I feel running
Away with my life
My love
My only feeling of goodness
Taken away from my chance
Taking away my last dance
Someone help me please
I’m down on my knees 
Begging someone to help
By I’m still by myself
And I should start to quit
And get away from this shit
‘Cause I know I cant have you
And there is nothing I can do
My heart just keeps sinking 
Into a black hole
My life just keeps subtracting
All the loved ones I know
Someone get me of this kick
I’m feeling real sick 
And I don’t know what to do
Soon I feel I’ll be screwed 
I don’t care what they say
I want to see her everyday
And they no I have no hope
And I know that…
But I’m tied to that rope 
That binds me to her
And my sight becomes blurred
What the fuck do I do
Or say
Or what…
Help……………………
I can’t calm down or even quit typing
So my running through my head I feel like I wiping
My slate clean again
But that will never happen
I can’t get her out of my mind
I can’t stop with this rhyme
I try time after time
And I can’t do………….
My head hurts.  I’m confused
I lost the point of the poem 
Back at the start
But the ache I am feeling 
I’m the breakage of my hear
And I need to stop this
But the bliss I will miss 
This will make no sense 
Cause I haven’t read this past since
My thoughts I free flow 
So I can type all that I know
Come help me tonight
Come help me with my fight
Fuck I don’t know
Maybe I should just go
I need to stop whining
I need to start passing time
But how do I do this
But how…
I put my hands on my eyes
To try to cover those lies
That I think I can win
That I think she will sin
Or something like that …
I sink into my chair 
Feeling like I’m not really there
I shake cause I’m tense
Filled with all this violence
My hands I can’t feel 
My eyes begin to tear
But I sit and I type
Cause those tears I won’t wipe
And I can’t feel my brain
I feel I’m going insane and 
I can’t stop my hands
‘Til I meet my demands 
And I feel I can’t stop
Till my head starts to drop
Or I scream about these
But that won’t take my insanity
………………….
…………..
I shudder and grasp
Feeling stunned like an asp
Ok I’m gonna try and quit again
This time I’m gonna try and sit again
Thinking about past times……….

Reason for writing:

    Thinking of the days    

Birth sign: Taurus
Date created: 2000-12-28 14:12:51
Last updated: 2021-04-14 17:18:12
Poem ID: 59246

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