In My World I Will Soon Be

by Staindgirl413 - Sagittarius

My anger burns,
My fears take over,
My voices shout,
I begin to cry.
The hate in my eyes,
The pain in my heart,
The gun in my hands,
My tears slowly fall.
My door is locked,
I'm in my room,
The house: cold and empty.
My insanity,
My pain,
The things that i live with.
My darkness inside
Comes out to play.
I drop to my knees,
Can't take the life I'm living.
In my world I will soon be.
There there is no pain,
I do not feel, 
I am all alone.
I just sit on my shelf,
A shelf of sadness I no longer have to feel,
And I collect the dust,
And I just fade away.
I am dysfunctional,
I am jaded,
Don't bother to save me,
I've made up my mind.
I let my thoughts vanish
And my voices control me.
I raise the gun to my head 
And I have a premontion of me all alone,
All alone and dead with no pain to feel.
Sadly I laugh out loud
But my fears rise to the surface.
I desparately want to live,
But not in a world of pain.
I push my fears aside
And with the gun still to my head,
I pull the trigger.
My vision blurs and the lights go out.
Now I'm in my world,
Just sitting on my shelf,
A shelf of sadness I no longer have to feel
And I collect the dust
And just fade away.

Reason for writing:

    Last year I went through a really tough time. I was highly suicidal and writing poerty was one of my positive coping skills although the poetry wasn't at all positive. This was a poem that I wrote last year.    

Birth sign: Sagittarius
Date created: 2001-01-21 22:41:13
Last updated: 2021-03-03 14:43:24
Poem ID: 59735

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