wooden chest filled with reminders of my sadness

by Desiree - Virgo

I dug out some high school keepsakes
that I had hidden in my wooden chest,
and the memories flowed back so abundantly,
so clearly as if they happened yesterday,
I had letters I received from Ft. Lewis, WA 
where my first love got stationed in '97,
I opened one of the envelopes 
and I started reminiscing about the day he left me, 
I recall every detail down to the nitty gritty,
what he wore, how he smelled, his warm embrace,
his reactions, the way he tried to be so tough,
though the tears trickled down his face anyhow,
I remember the final kiss and his saddened eyes 
as he turned and walked away,
and then he was gone instantly through the airport crowd,

I couldn't sleep that night the tears just wouldn't let me
I sat up watching depressing romance movies 
which didn't help much in the matter,
nor did his big Tioga Tigers football sweatshirt that I wore 
saturated with his pleasant scent,
because I refused to wash it,
I moped around the house for weeks
I wouldn't go anywhere or do anything,
just sulked in the blues and ate cookies and cream,

I didn't hear from him since he called from a payphone 
in Chicago ready to board another plane,
so it was several weeks of hell 
before the basic training drill sergeants 
would allow him to contact me,
he wrote though faithfully everyday
when he finally could,
and we arranged for me to finally visit 
after months had gone by,

I remember my first airplane ride all-alone
so scared and yet so damn anxious,
I recall walking off the plane 
and before I had a chance to search for him,
I was already in his arms, my feet swept off the ground 
with him twirling me around so excitingly,

We went to the space needle that evening
and there he knelt and proposed,
with the gentle breeze blowing through my hair,
love gliding through the warm April air,
and the view of the city of Seattle was spectacular,

But years later here I sit in gloom,
regretting why I called it it off,
with a small box in my hand,
that I removed from my wooden chest
containing a heart shaped diamond ring
With four stones on each side.

Reason for writing:

    He was my first for everything as well as I was his first.. 
first love, first kiss, lost our virginity to each other etc...
I really truely loved this boy. Spent many of my years
with this him. He was the kindest, most 
honest, and caring man I ever met. I called our engagement off
because I thought there was more out there, I wanted to
experience more things to make sure I was definate. He 
came back home several times and I never was really sure 
if I was ready for marriage at such a young age. So he waited
along time for me and I passed up the chances everytime.
so it's my fault now that he never waited a little bit longer
cause about a year ago, he settled down when I didn't and
got married. My loss I guess.:(    

Birth sign: Virgo
Date created: 2001-01-31 00:35:44
Last updated: 2021-04-14 17:18:12
Poem ID: 59934

You need to log in to edit this poem if it is yours.

View more poems by Desiree.