I got to one of those places once, one of those places in my life where the path i've been trudgin' along suddenly splits suddenly diverges into a million different possibilities. I hafta make decisions then. I hafta decide which route to take, what direction to head towards, whether or not i should just sit and chill or head on back and see what i missed on my way here. I remember getting lost in my dreams, Looking deep into the impervious void that is future and seeing myself in a million different lives. I'm happy in some of them, I've got a girl who loves me as much as i love her, my days are never boring, my time is spent taking it easy sucking out the marrow from life without actually going into the jungle running around half-naked. I'm miserable in some of them, family dead, friends gone, nothing to hope for in life, except maybe a glimmer of charity in the eyes of passerbys as i lie there on the park bench, wild, overgrown hair dangling down over my ears. I think about where i am. What i do each day, my routines, no matter how unroutine i try to convince myself it is, it's still a routine, moving my physical self all over my small world walking along the cycle of my life. 'Where should i break out of it?' i wonder 'How?' Even when i find a way to break the cycle i quickly slip into another. I slip into the past too, when i hit that crossroads (damn i hate using the word crossroads) And so many memories surface, and i wonder whhich ones are real which ones are deceit drudged up within my own mind, self-treachery that occurs so often in my life. I could have had a perfect life If i hadn't ruined it. But my life is perfect, it's everything that i can hope for with nothing and nobody to cloud my wishes. And so i came to that point in my life, that point where the road splits off into countless directions and i did some thinking. I thought about my life. I thought about other people's lives. I watched as people walked by, and sat down with me to think or walked right by choosing thier path by instinct. I thought about using instinct, but that thought disappeared quickly. I thought about the people in my lives. Would i be anything without them? Would they be what they are without me? I got to the crossroads (damn i hate using the word crossroads) and i thought for a while before i set off in one direction, almost completely blind seeking to discover life and hoping i'd find my people on the same path. All i could hope for is that the luck i've had close to me up to this point stays.
Reason for writing:
No reason. No inspiration.
Birth sign: Capricorn
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