i keep telling myself and others how bad you were,
how mean i was.
i keep telling silence how dead my soul was,
living within the endless showers of
compliments and support you gave.
You were a flower, alone,
in a desert giving affection to the traveling
discontent of wind.
guilt is the only possession i've carried
as i wisp past fruitfulness, or along barren horizons-Mother Earth.
i should have blown you to the safty of civilization,
taken you to the comfort of other flowers and hummingbirds;
living things that could have enjoyed your nectar.
instead i continued to gust cold across continents of existence
making whole people shake from my passing,
causing children to be afraid,
ignoring flowers
that reminded me of the loneliness
i so desperately wanted to be a part of.
reminding me of the happiness i so eagerly rejected.
Reason for writing:
This was an expression to a relationship that deserved more than what I had to give. I am greatful for the memories and regretful of the pain that my desired solitude produced. She will always be a better person than I.
Birth sign: Libra
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