the over achiever that I try to be when Im out on the track and the spotlights are on me the crowd is cheering and I’m doing my leg stretches getting pumped up and excited just to know that all these people are here for me then the fear starts to settle in what if I disappoint them what if I dont win I have to win though that is the most important thing to me I need another trophy being a winner is who I am a chill runs up my spine I want to change my mind and disappear into the hundreds of other runners and hide amongst them I can see my brothers and my father yelling my name I can see all my friends and my sorierty sisters doing the same everyone is counting on me to represent the school to be the best and I dont want to let them down I see my mother standing at the edge of the gate a smile on her face and a sign that says my name she blows me a kiss and I turn my face I size up my competion she looks in shape I bet she is fast I heard that she won all state three years in a row she senses my fear I just know that she does I smile at her and wish her good luck she does the same neither of us meaning it but it was the approapiate thing to say I have been practicing extra hard lately every morning and everynight before I go to bed I wanna go to state I hear the man call out get ready on your mark and bam goes the gun without thinking I leave the world behind my legs are like wheels going as fast as I can steer them a wild horse running free in the fields the wind blowing through my hair trying so hard to get away from my problems and the people that depend on me I only want to be alone and to be happy on my own I dont want this stress and pressure to be the best whats wrong with just being okay I dont look back I just keep my mind on winning I see the finish line up ahead I hear someone yell out my name and I turn to see the expression on my mother’s face a look of doubt and disappointment or was it a look of happiness and pride I couldnt decide my heart started beating faster and before I knew it I lost all control of my legs they felt like jello beneath me I calapsed and fell to the ground why did I look at her I do not know I couldnt believe that this was happening to me I felt a sharp pain in my left knee and blood trickle down my leg the tears started to roll down my cheek my dad and the paramedics rush out to me I hear the annoucer say uh oh the champ has fallen the crowd is hushed and the looks of disappointment on their faces is more than I can bare I turn my head and pretend not to care I dont move I just lay there heart broken mother rushes over honey are you okay oh my goodness what happened I turn my face away from her I dont want her to see my pain I grab my father’s hand and the paramedics take me away in the hospital the doctor come and says that i had torn ligaments and surgery would be necessary it will be a while before you can compete again I close my eyes and ask God why is this happening to me feeling alone and afraid I ask my father to stay by my side Im going to need his support tonight he holds my hand and tells me that it will be okay my brothers give me a hug and there sweet words of love and head home my mother walks in with a sad look upon her face she looks concern and a tear rolls down her cheek she looks at me as if she wants to speak but I stop her and motion for her to come closer tears roll down her cheeks and mine and she says Im sorry baby that this had to happen to you but the doctor says you are going to be just fine I will be leaving I know you dont want me here I just wanted to make sure you were okay I grabbed her hand and asked her to stay she shook her head yes and hugged me tight I forgave my mother that night and realized that I needed her here with me in my time of sadness and misery
Reason for writing:
I was competing for all state in a track meet right before I got to the finish line i was like 20 yrds away I fell and tripped tearing the ligaments in my left knee pretty bad..
I'll never forget how much it hurt to lose that race and how much it hurt to let all those people down
Birth sign: Aries
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