inside the pain is hurting almost like a thousand knives stabbing me all at once it hurts yet its a rush I just want it to stop to go away but it only gets worse I can't seem to get enough maybe I really want it to stay I want to scream and to run for help but I don’t I just sit here scrunched tightly in a little ball I want to cut myself and watch it bleed onto the white carpet that would satisfy my need I want to get dizzy and to feel faint I want the pain to hurt more that way I know that IM human and not some excuse I like to see the blood gushing out of me because that means that I am alive and not some stiff corpse who lives above the ground no one can help me I’m not even really sure if I want to be helped would I be human if I did arrest me and put me in a nut house with all the other crazy people who are just like me that way I will be able to see what you think of me lock me in a room with cushioned walls and carpeted floors I’ll sit down in a chair and stair out that little widow just above the door I’ll make faces at you and scream at the nurses I’ll grab my hair and pull it out I’ll kick and I will shout let me do it one more time that way I know that I am alive don’t you know that the pain feels good it makes me feel like I’m human why do you stare at me as though I am insane when you know that I am just like you look in the mirror and you shall see that your the face with my name kiss my forehead and tell me it will be all right and that I won’t kill myself tonight but instead find the light the light that will brighten my fucked up life
Reason for writing:
had a messed up day
Birth sign: Aries
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