have you finished hurting me yet? have you convinced yourself that i can't hurt you?? has it come to the point where you think my words cannot hurt? given another opportunity to list my shortcomings, i do so happily, not knowing that i i am deriding myself because others will do so so i help i make light of myself but i feel too much ambivalance and too much unhappiness for the humor to be real and i feel that i must withold the tears that threaten me, threaten the facade that i have erected, refusing to be penetrated, refusing the fact that i do cry sometimes because it seems i am doomed to be pathetic, doomed to be a loser, to not escape the trap ive been placed into, why the hell do i try for people that are not interested, for your hurtful words guerantee that i will cry again, but they will not be tears of disgust or tears of sadness they will be tears of something i always feel toward you tears of anger.
Reason for writing:
this occured to me that this could be put into words. so i wrote this from the heart. hadn't planned it, just wrote the first sentences and the rest just came out.
Birth sign: Aries
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