Today is the day that is supposed to be the greatest of our lives. And here, on this day, I sit before this window watching the rain drown the scenery beyond, the grey clouds engulfing, unfurling their anger upon that below. And as I sit, prettier than I ever have been, surrounded by those I love and know - a forest of happy faces and tears - my knees shake and heart leaps taking with it my breath. And all I can do is wonder, to sink in my thoughts and my clouded head, whether I am here for the right reasons or just the oldest of reasons. The most unexpected of happenings consumes my insides, adds to my weight and the gravity pulling me downward. And the longer I wait here losing myself and talking myself down from taking this massive leap, the more I wonder and fear this choice we made together for togetherness and for that which we have created. And now the rain pours outside and in, and down my powdered cheeks as I begin to stand and move toward the doorway which will lead me from all I know now into a new world of supposed endless joy and blessings: bonded and in the hands of God.
Reason for writing:
This is not a reflection on my own wedding day, but just my thoughts on what it must be like for someone questioning themselves in such a situation.
Birth sign: Gemini
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