WORD138

by dcroy - Cancer

WORD138

Don't remember what I came here for I think
I used to know once upon a time and I surely
Don't expect you to know you are busy finding
Your own reasons for living and I am busy finding
My own reasons for dying you believe in heaven and
I believe in hell but I'm trying to put out the fires
Will I be accommodated at work as the law demands
I can quote it word for word there are too many
Things changing at once and I am feeling unstable did
That come from horses being out of the stable and
Unprotected I dream each night such evil hellish
Action shots where loved ones are crazy and un-
Predictble where they flail with angry arms where
They are so strong I can't stop them

I came here because two people wanted to make
A third I had no word in the decision but here I am
Forty two years later with a life of fear and abuse and
My doctor says a course of deterioration lies ahead
So how can you wonder I think about death       I
       haven't found life particularly engaging but Challenging yes it has been that I think of a sparrow
Clinging to my screen in the evening its little claws
Catch and I hear it break away and the night is terribly
Cold am I the little sparrow out in the cold where can
I go to get relief God says he knows when every sparrow
Dies but does he know how it lives

Reason for writing:

    Fighting  mental illness and feeling that God should do something about it because surely He knows what I'm going through.    

Birth sign: Cancer
Date created: 2001-07-10 19:59:51
Last updated: 2021-03-03 14:44:39
Poem ID: 63794

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