i just left toothmarks on top of this notepad keeps me from grinding my teeth together from the lack of sleep it's a quarter after 8am according to you 24 hours will mosey around 10:30 my leg is numb my senses are gone i should be sleeping as a matter of fact i've never been so tired in my life worse yet i grow more tired watching you sleep but unfortunatly i cant keep my eyes shut if only i had the same problem with my mouth i shouldnt silence myself while my chest pounds at the speed of our recent demise i should tell you i love you and tell you how frenzied and hopeless i've become and maybe i should even tell you how weak this has all made me and how hard to swallow it is choking like a hydrophobic in a wading pool and how thoughts keep flooding back to me now for instance... do you know the last time i was called beautiful was by my father when you said it to me for a split second i felt beautiful again now this canvas has been washed with ugly as sin oh here i go being emotional again this tear duct never simmers down and not even a hundred new toys will pacify me you know lets talk about something else for a second i feel like a stranger to the one growing up i thought would never fade but by example we can see nothing is permanent everything is beyond routine but maybe in that case i have something to look forward to i cant see straight with me being so insanely tired i would go to bed but somehow something's keeping me awake maybe it's the heat maybe it's my CD's but i think it's you or the lack there of it the sun is in full bloom and it's half past 8am tadzio tadzio what should i be doing? how should i be feeling? because i havent gotten the memo yet i would roll a drum but im scared of waking you up another reason for you to be upset this i dont need this has become all too tumultuous to keep up with this dizzying sensation is more than unbearable at the moment i wanna sing calm my nerves but.. oh fuck that merrigold ok im falling asleep in your chair this can only be a good sign i guess i'll take one more shot while i have the chance to make a decision for meBirth sign: Pisces
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