Just fucking read me

by er - Gemini

A thought...amplified in my head
 A moment to ponder
A moment to scream.
 The events of my life ...taken me to the extreme
At least in my eyes
 Am  I insane?
To start out happy and then dissolve...to almost nothingness
 Or maybe just insanity
Close to nothiing.
 With what am I left...a constant fear
Of failure
 Of digrace
Of meaningless memories.
 Who can hear me...actually understand
Mother? Oh, no.
 Father? Who's that?
Where did it disappear?
 My family...Where?
To speak of love and of understanding
 Is to wonder in awe
No, I lie...
 Love and understanding...is apparent in my life
If only I still look strong.
 For me to hurt is unthinkable
Me? Who are you kidding?
 I'm too strong.
Right?
 Right.
I have no feelings.
 Only to pacify the others.
When they hurt.
 When they cry.
I take control...make them feel alright.
 Only then am I allowed to cry.
Silently... at night.
 By myself... so no one gets discouraged.
Cause I'm always alright.
 Right?

Reason for writing:

    what do you think?    

Birth sign: Gemini
Date created: 2001-08-01 01:54:24
Last updated: 2021-03-03 14:44:47
Poem ID: 64234

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