Should I?

by Samantha Lowe - Scorpio

I've always been one to conquer my fears
Look them straight in the eye
Hold strong
And just go for it
Until that fear long since went away

Only now... 
This fear is different
So much different than all the rest
More difficult to come to terms with
Or to even try to look dead in the eye

It's not like the times I was afraid of heights
Or the time I was afraid to get on an airplane
It's not like my fear of spiders
Or like when I was younger
And I was afraid to look under my own bed

No, this time it's different
And for once in my life, I don't know if I'm strong enough
If I have enough courage to get up
Drive there
And step anywhere near that place

But it's all just so damn clear
Repeating in my mind as though it were happening just now
He didn't let me go
No matter how hard I tried
It was useless

No, I can't 
But should I?
Should I return?
Face my fear?
And drive to the playground
Right across the street from his house
And face it all over again?

In attempt to let go of what's holding me back
From going on with my life
In attempt to end these nightmares
These flashbacks of what happened
So I can learn to live again?

Reason for writing:

    Questioning returning to the place it happened, hoping that it would all leave me, if I just had the courage to face it.    

Birth sign: Scorpio
Date created: 2001-08-16 03:29:14
Last updated: 2021-03-03 14:44:51
Poem ID: 64427

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