I was woken up after taking an overdose of sleeping pills. damn. I am so miserable and unhappy it sometimes scares me I wasn't always like this I used to be okay then i met the old cowboy was truly happy what did he do? silence for 2 weeks finally heard from him he's fine and still wants me, i still want him. but, my mind craves obsessions, have a new one. name is Hardy. wanted to see him on live feed but my computer is too old need an outlet for my rage, i need to see him. i am obsessed. i am nothing. i should be sleeping, lying somewhere listening only to the angels. my rage still needs an outlet, if i had a child, i would have taken it out on him. i am losing my mind. slowly. have 5 days till my trip. i look forward to it. wish it was here, take my mind off my life. Wish the old cowboy would call again, or send more email. seems, like all i do is wait, wait for my life to start. terrified of the three day weekend nephew went out of town. i get so depressed so quickly. so afraid. so afraid. so terribly afraid. the sorrow of my life, will be met with scorn. i must get a grip, take charge, find another outlet for my mind. be content to see Hardy 3 times a week. become obsessed, once again, with my writing, my crafts, my life. I can do this, i have to. for if not, i won't make it to Monday.Birth sign: Taurus
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